Marriage is a true partnership. You and your wife have built your life together and you share each and every triumph and hurdle that presents itself to your family. You’re connected in so many ways and at times it’s incredibly wonderful. However, every marriage has some dark patches and in some cases, the couple can’t seem to bridge that conflict together as a united team. Instead, one partner pulls away from the other and the foundation of the marriage begins to crumble. At that point, some people decide it’s easier to bail on the relationship than to try and fix it. Perhaps you’re living this now. If your wife doesn’t want to be married anymore, is divorce your only option or is there something else you can be doing to get things back to the way they used to be?
If your wife says that she’s not happy and wants a divorce, don’t rush to make a decision too quickly. If you react in anger or sadness, she may feel overwhelmed by your strong emotions and pull back further. If you accept that it’s inevitable for the marriage to end you may be missing your chance at future happiness with her. You have to take a deep breath and take stock of the situation. Sometimes a woman will say she doesn’t want to be married because she’s hurt or resentful. She knows that those words will cause deep pain so she says them without thinking clearly about the ramifications. Try not to overreact when your wife says she thinks a separation is appropriate.
Find out exactly what is causing her to consider ending the marriage. Ask her whether she’s been unhappy for some time or if this is all stemming from a recent conflict you two have had. You can’t deal with the real issues in your marriage until the two of you identify them together. Be considerate when she’s trying to explain what she feels and don’t jump to defend yourself. This is not the time to start yet another argument with your wife. You need to hear her out so you can have a thorough understanding of what is pushing her towards such a drastic decision.
Make it very clear to your wife that although you respect what she is feeling you still very much want to be married to her. Ask her if she will consider giving you some time to show her how much she means to you and to work out the problems that she feels are pulling you two apart. If she balks at this idea, be open to a trial separation. Although this is certainly a scary step it can give you both more perspective. Living apart for a time will give your wife the opportunity to think about what she really wants. In addition, you’ll both have a chance to realize what life is like on a day-to-day basis without the other. That type of reality shock can send a couple who is constantly bickering, running back into each others’ arms.