Being Selfish


It was 2’0 clock in the night and I was busy in my thoughts. Suddenly my phone rang. Although I am not used to go to bed so early, but I was astonished to get the call at this hour. I had to receive this call…’What happened, Daak Saab? Everything cool ?’ It was Atul on the other side, and his voice was really dull. ‘Yaar! can you please be here. I am feeling very low. I need you?’ ‘Ok, will be there in 10 mins…’ God knows, what happened. I knew him very well, and there was no point in asking exactly what happened. He was 5 kms away, and at this hour it will hardly take 10 mins. But this is really weird. I met him, in the evening and he was in jolly mood. He has to be on date with Anjali.

To be very frank I did not like her, but Atul was mad on her and I’d to respect his relationship ‘coz he was my one of the best friends. Anyway, all that apart, here I reached curious to know the story. To my goodness, Pankaj, Danish, Maut ( Mrityunjay ) were already there with him. Maut was his flat partner.

‘So all is well?’ I asked loudly.
‘No!!! Our good good friend is ditched by the princess’ Danish was fighting hard to suppress his laughter.
‘She was such a sweet girl. I really feel about poor guy. He missed the chance.’ Maut added.

‘That’s good news. So our friend is bachelor again, and he can enjoy his life again.’ I added, then I realized, I should not be saying this, he’d be expecting some consoling words from me and here was the bomb.

‘Okay everybody. I think, you people should be leaving now. It’s late night and I am sorry that I cared to bother you at this hour.’ It was very clear now, that he was really upset and I’ve to be serious now.

‘It’s okay dude. Life doesn’t end here. You know, she was not the first girl in your life. You’ve everything which a girl would dream. Life goes on, live it up. And please don’t say you’ll not find a girl better than her.’

‘Will you please stop this? If I’ve everything, then why did she leave me?’ There was question mark on his face, and he knew the answer.

‘I think you better know. Let me know too.’ I added.

‘She thinks, that I am not like before. I am not able to give her time the way it was. Things have changed. Yaar, its not possible for me to be with her like a blanket always. I’ve my own priorities. Work pressure is increasing, then I’ve some other plans to start something on my own. Whaaatttt to dooooo.?’ He was talking now.

‘And you say, that she loved you. She loved and cared for you more than anything else. And she can’t even understand such a tiny thing. Ooohhhh.’ I was bored.

‘But I loved her..’ He shouted.
‘Stop talking rubbish. It was all time pass, and you know this. And please for god sake,
take the life as is, don’t live in any dream world. This is all bull shit. You were with her, because she was smart, she was beautiful and charming. And she spent these many months, because she had good, wonderful moments with you. And when she found a bit of lack in it, she left and may be to find someone else. Such is life, full of felony. Where is love in it?’

‘So what is love as per you.’ He was a bit concerned now.
‘Lets first hear, what is your opinion on this.’ I turned the bullet face on him.
‘Hmmm, when you feel really secure with somebody, you like somebody to an extent than you can’t imagine to live without her. When somebody is always besides you, not over you. You share, you care, you laugh, you cry, you fight…. and in all you always win, never loose. It’s a feeling, which makes you secure and there is somebody who is always there for you in all the times.’

‘Impressive, Shayaar Sahab’. Maut was enjoying the moment.
‘What a philosophy, but nothing new in it. Every word you told, was not about love. It’s all about give and take, its all about being selfish. Don’t take me wrong, but ‘being selfish’ is the sacred word for me, not love. Somebody is there bedsides you, not over you until, you’re the same with the other person. And one more thing, I wish to point out, nowadays when we talk love, why is it only between two young opposite sex. For me, it’s a non-existent most talked, general word in the dictionary’.

‘Interesting, philosophy.’ Danish started taking interest in the discussion now.
‘So let me know, what is this non-existent word means to you.’ Atul interrupted.

‘I’ll just add to you definition, where all you do with no expectation, no return in mind, no take just give. And selfishness is exactly opposite, when you do something for somebody but expect some return in any form. Love teaches you to be good, not because people will appreciate you but because you feel so. You always expect good to happen to the other, irrespective of how does it affect you. Now at any point, if you add expectation to it, don’t call it love, it becomes business.’

‘But still how can you say, love doesn’t exist at all. There are plenty of examples everywhere, where people do love and care without any expectation.’ Atul was no more thinking about his break-up. This conversation started becoming interesting.

‘First tell me about yourself. Did you really love her?’
‘May be not. I am not sure, after this.’
‘Hmm, good to hear that. Okay, first let me clear, that this world is always full of exceptional cases, and I don’t talk about them. I am talking about 99/100 people who don’t love but do business. Still I feel, that there should be one person in hundred, which is really really exceptional. I don’t deny the fact. Still I did not meet anybody of this kind, better you tell me if you know any.’
‘Love of a mother to his son.’ Maut won the quiz.
‘I totally don’t deny the fact. But the natural phenomenon is responsible for this to some extent. Nine months are good enough for any body to develop the natural bonding and that also for such a sweet thing. God had created this bond, and she can’t fight the feeling.’

‘Also believe it or not, what do you think, if God had made the future visible to us what would happen. Nobody knows, what lies in the future. It’s good or bad. But lets assume, the mother knew somehow about the future of the new born, he will be an obedient, or he’ll be the one who will be responsible for all the pain in her life, or he’ll be the one who’ll take their all the property and leave them on footpath to die. He’ll remember the responsibilities of a son towards his parents, or he’ll be killer of his own own father or mother. Tell me, how many parents will not abort the child after knowing all this. This means what, you love, you take care of your child by some assumptions. You may have seen several several families. Tell me something, if somebody is having several children, is the so called love distributed equally between them. If not then what may be the reason. May be the younger one is loved more. May be the one, who can control his anger and never said any bad word to his parents, may be the one who earns more and always takes care of the necessities of the family. And if one is differentiating to this ‘Bond’ with these reasons, tell me my friend will you really call this love.’

‘So you mean to say, we’re living in this world, where there is no love.’ I felt, it was a shock for Danish.
‘Never. I don’t mean this. If you’re lucky you may get it. I just wanted to say, we should accept the fact that in this world nothing happens without a reason. We should not just be throwing our expectations in the air for the people to live as per it. When we talk of love, we expect something of this sort only. Just take his example, there was a reason why she left him. And I don’t see anything wrong in it. And why the hell he should take load of it. He knows his priorities, and I never ask him to compromise on that. And if you say, that there’s this girl ‘x’ only, with whom I can be happy, she is the only one who understands me more than anybody else and blah blah. These are just ways with which you can deny the reality happily or may be just don’t wanna face it. Or may be you don’t have the guts to accept anybody else in your life. And yes, may be you lost the confidence in you, that somebody will accept you. Whatever, be proud that you’re selfish because God has created humans this way. The day, humans will stop being selfish, no body will do anything for anyone. That will be the day, when Good people will vanish and may be that will be the day which we call ‘Dooms Day’. I differentiate good and bad in a way, that good people do something and expect, and bad people expect without doing anything. There’re angels too who do their task and expect nothing.’

‘So what is the difference? You are calling love a selfishness. Thats all, remaining story is still the same.’ Maut was confused now.

‘No, not at all. I want you to change the perception. Generally we feel bad, when somebody calls us selfish. What I am saying, that everybody in this world is selfish. When you talk of love, you take it as a feeling, and you expect others to accept it as it is, which is wrong. But when you think like a selfish man, you think differently. You improve and mold yourself. When something bad happens to you or someone leaves you, it makes you analyze yourself that may be you were lacking something which you should be giving to him.’

‘Yes, I did not love her….’
‘But I regret, that I did not enjoy this to fullest. But no problem, she is not the one, which I’ll find.. As you said,
Zindaghi ke har mod par, kisi na kisi nashe ka hona zaroori hai.’ Atul shouted in excitement.

‘Yes, you should. Opportunity doesn’t come always knocking. So will we stop discussing this whole night, or there is some other plan.’ There was a smile on my face and I remembered my first crush (I’ll not call it love, with all this funda).

‘Yes, I think we should try Baba ka Dhaba. I feel the need of the hour.’
We looked at each other, smiled and left.

Read me more at


Source by The Right Brain